Archive for December, 2009

After thought #15
December 26, 2009


Radical transformation is not about engaging, healing or transforming the perceived shadow of the “I”.  It is a process of looking at the totality of who you imagine yourself to be, as the “I”.  It is the vigilant, scrutinization of the “I” as it arises; the “I” that “you” were, the “I” that “you” appear to be, and especially the “I” that “you” appeared to create, as a result of the “I” that you imagined yourself to be. It is the realization that the “I” that arises and the “I” you want to be, is not the Self that you seek.

The “I” you imagine yourself to be, is the greatest obstacle to your perceived freedom; greater even than any event, action, experience or circumstance that may have occurred or is occurring in your life, and to the “I”.  Who you imagine yourself to be as the “I”, presently determines and dominates the totality of your subjective experience and how “you” see “yourself”, life, and how “you” imagine the world see’s “you”.  The “I” and all that it contains; the so called good and the so called bad, is the single most defining, element that appears to be an intrinsic part of your nature, but is not.

Let me be very clear here; radical transformation is not about being more positive, even though the “I” may prefer to be surrounded by more positive people!  We are not talking about an attitudinal or situational lifestyle change of the “I”, although the “I” may feel more confident or enjoy the comfort of that circumstance.  Radical transformation is not the sanitization of thought, emotion or the perceived psychology that arises as the “I”.  Radical transformation is not “I” focused spirituality.

After thought #14
December 23, 2009


We could say that most people are meditating all the time. 

Their meditations are focused on what they are thinking, who they are being, what they are doing and what they have or do not have in life. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with this unconscious style of meditation, except for the fact that it is a very “sloppy” because there has been no instruction and there is no understanding in how to harness the power of attention.  This style of unconscious meditation that focuses attention only on thinking, being, doing and having, or not having is enough to make anyone feel crazy; and it does.

With a little instruction, with a small amount of understanding, everyone who is presently practicing these very unconscious, sloppy, styles of meditation could be “converted” into “master meditators”.  Instead of focusing on the external world of form and phenomena; instead of filling and losing oneself in the activity of their present style of meditation, one could begin to taste the freedom that lies in stillness.  One would have the opportunity to experience the many dynamic benefits of true meditation, which can be cultivated and thrive in the stillness in “non activity”.

There is nothing inherently wrong with thinking, being, doing and having; it will always appear to be occurring at the body/mind level.  But something magical can happen when the activity of thinking, being, doing and having is infused with the non activity of true meditation; meditation that allows one to experience the stillness that exists at the heart of all experience.  A little daily experience of non activity or restful alertness is enough to have an infinitely more dynamic impact on the expression of thinking, being, doing and having than any activity could ever have.

After thought #13
December 18, 2009


Radical transformation is about finding out Who You Are, which has everything to do with what you’re not!  We are deceived in believing that understanding the psychology of “I” and the success or failure of its performance in the world is spirituality, realization or finding out who you are.

If you’re interested in finding out who you are, why would you spend a lifetime trying to understand, improve, fix or change, the limits of a pseudo self that you take out into the world every day?

We can become so obsessed with changing, fixing, transforming the content of our experience under the guise of so called spirituality, that we lose ourselves to the conditioning of yet another experience, projection and desire of a false self and mind, that seeks something other than what is.

Why not place your attention directly on the one who perceives that experience, rather than the experience itself?

 Most would rather worship their own or someone else’s conceptual understanding of spirituality, rather than risk the journey of diving into the vast unknown, indescribable, probability of who they are.  This is why so few, ever stabilize “themselves” in essence; the complications of conceptual understanding, become the boundaries that bind the unbound.

 I am not the content of my experience, the “good” or the “bad”. 

What happens happens, or it doesn’t.  I already am what I am, I just don’t know it.  Changing my experience will not change Who I Am.  Experiences happen “on” me, not to me.  While it’s tempting, even pleasurable to imagine or in fact change the content of my experience, it only allows the psychology of “me” to be, more easily; it only provides a more comfortable lifestyle for the pseudo self to exist in, and in no way implies any marker or level of realization or achievement towards Who I Am.  I can spend my life searching, seeking and attempting to gain or achieve more experiential content, but it will not necessarily help or contribute to finding out Who I AM…

After thought # 12
December 14, 2009


Radical transformation has no agenda.  There can be no agenda for destabilization, without destabilization of our conceptual understanding there can be no permanent stabilization of Self.  There can be no goal, no intention, no expectation for a shift in ways of thinking, being, doing or having, even though we crave it so.

We are not talking about conventional spirituality here.  We are not romancing our experience with angel cards and teddy bears; past lives or future lives, visions or missions; entertaining distractions to fluff up and distract the journey of unlearning.  There is no sanitization of negative over positive in this examination; everything simply is what it is. 

When you’ve spent enough time in spirituality 101; if you reach a point in your own journey where you have begun to realize that what has been learned now needs to be unlearned, you’re on the doorstep of infinity.

It’s time to move beyond the shadow of the “I” and the untold stories it has to create. It’s time to move beyond the nonsense teachings of “this” and “that”, that attempt to explain the unexplainable, which have only further bound the unbound.

There can be a cut here.  It lies in the kick and scream. “We” want to cut the ties here; “we” want to destabilize the very conventional thinking, being, doing and having that has trapped us into limited ways of being.  “We” want space.  “We” need the space for the unconventional and undefined to be present.  In the stillness of this space, in the inactivity of awareness, probability reins.

After thought #11
December 10, 2009


Radical transformation and destabilization is not a pretty sight!  The chaos and aftermath of this destruction can impact our very ability to function in everyday life.  Destabilization is a radical form of transformation that cuts at the very thinking and feeling nature of our psyche.  It forces unconscious psycho/emotional residue of the past to surface in the present; not with any particular agenda, but as natural response to the capacity of awareness to simply allow things to be.  In the quiet, still space of awareness, everything is possible.

Destabilization demands cognitive congruence; the very thoughts and beliefs that form your most endearing perceptions, beliefs and philosophies; the ways of being; the very meaning and purpose you have given to your life must be tendered for re-evaluation and validity; in some cases they must fall away. 

Call it what you want: existential crises, dark night of the Soul, depression, or mid life crisis.  Labeling it does nothing to facilitate the experience of destabilization; wrapping it in some model of understanding will only temporarily provide relief and certainly won’t necessarily reveal any validity or affirmation to your process.   Allowing, noticing, resting in awareness of the process is your greatest ally; forget the mind and its need to understand; it’s an inherent part of the process, and as such, is part of the deconstruction.

Stabilization is the natural impulse of this “movement” of consciousness, realization of our inherent unity, a potential outcome.  If “you” go with the flow; if “you” allow the process to unfold, “you” might soften the blow of the blade, as it chops at “your” personal addictions and fixations; as “your” sacred cows line up, one by one, to become sacrificial offerings…

After thought #10
December 8, 2009


In order to stabilize our awareness allowing our essence [our essential core] to be revealed, we must first destabilize our conceptual understanding of self and the universe.  We must evaluate the validity of how we presently see and understand our life; what we believe to be true about that life and the world we live in.

Until we are willing and able to destabilize erroneous thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, associations and memories that we have about our life and the world we live in, we will suffer.  We will hold at arms length the birth of our own divinity; we will continue to be distracted by erroneous thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions and associations of the body/mind, experiencing limited levels of peace and authenticity within that life.

The slippery slope of conceptual understanding is an obstacle to the experience and expression of “genuine” spirituality.  Enmeshed as we are in self engendered thinking and layers of “nonsense” teachings, the real goes unnoticed; the Self remains aloof.  Until we are stripped naked of psycho/emotional residue that festers on the fodder of belief, we will be distracted from the background of Being, we will lose ourselves in the foreground of thinking, being, doing and having…

After thought #9
December 7, 2009

We all seek freedom of one kind or another.  Some seek it through experience or things; others, through belief or the dance of relationships.  The seduction of freedom lies in the search for freedom itself; in the fleeting details of circumstance that lead to perceived greater levels of a transient happiness.

The search for freedom is inherently driven by a belief in bondage; by a need to survive, that drives the belief that we are somehow separate from, and needing too reach some imagined place or state. 

What if the urge and the desire, impulse and fixation is itself based on an imagined hunger driven by a false notion and idea?

But what if that assumption is wrong? 

It matters not how the steps of our freedom are defined; for contained within those plans and notions of those stories; within those wants and needs, is the inherent deception of separation itself; that what we  desire the most, can be sought and found; experienced, achieved or had at an external level of thinking, being, doing and having. 

Our freedom does not come with understanding or experience, although that is all that can ever be taught.  Our freedom lies outside the boundaries of this and that.  The door to our freedom lies in the one who is seeking; a seeker that once found and then abandoned…

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