After thought #13
December 18, 2009


Radical transformation is about finding out Who You Are, which has everything to do with what you’re not!  We are deceived in believing that understanding the psychology of “I” and the success or failure of its performance in the world is spirituality, realization or finding out who you are.

If you’re interested in finding out who you are, why would you spend a lifetime trying to understand, improve, fix or change, the limits of a pseudo self that you take out into the world every day?

We can become so obsessed with changing, fixing, transforming the content of our experience under the guise of so called spirituality, that we lose ourselves to the conditioning of yet another experience, projection and desire of a false self and mind, that seeks something other than what is.

Why not place your attention directly on the one who perceives that experience, rather than the experience itself?

 Most would rather worship their own or someone else’s conceptual understanding of spirituality, rather than risk the journey of diving into the vast unknown, indescribable, probability of who they are.  This is why so few, ever stabilize “themselves” in essence; the complications of conceptual understanding, become the boundaries that bind the unbound.

 I am not the content of my experience, the “good” or the “bad”. 

What happens happens, or it doesn’t.  I already am what I am, I just don’t know it.  Changing my experience will not change Who I Am.  Experiences happen “on” me, not to me.  While it’s tempting, even pleasurable to imagine or in fact change the content of my experience, it only allows the psychology of “me” to be, more easily; it only provides a more comfortable lifestyle for the pseudo self to exist in, and in no way implies any marker or level of realization or achievement towards Who I Am.  I can spend my life searching, seeking and attempting to gain or achieve more experiential content, but it will not necessarily help or contribute to finding out Who I AM…

After thought # 12
December 14, 2009


Radical transformation has no agenda.  There can be no agenda for destabilization, without destabilization of our conceptual understanding there can be no permanent stabilization of Self.  There can be no goal, no intention, no expectation for a shift in ways of thinking, being, doing or having, even though we crave it so.

We are not talking about conventional spirituality here.  We are not romancing our experience with angel cards and teddy bears; past lives or future lives, visions or missions; entertaining distractions to fluff up and distract the journey of unlearning.  There is no sanitization of negative over positive in this examination; everything simply is what it is. 

When you’ve spent enough time in spirituality 101; if you reach a point in your own journey where you have begun to realize that what has been learned now needs to be unlearned, you’re on the doorstep of infinity.

It’s time to move beyond the shadow of the “I” and the untold stories it has to create. It’s time to move beyond the nonsense teachings of “this” and “that”, that attempt to explain the unexplainable, which have only further bound the unbound.

There can be a cut here.  It lies in the kick and scream. “We” want to cut the ties here; “we” want to destabilize the very conventional thinking, being, doing and having that has trapped us into limited ways of being.  “We” want space.  “We” need the space for the unconventional and undefined to be present.  In the stillness of this space, in the inactivity of awareness, probability reins.

After thought #11
December 10, 2009


Radical transformation and destabilization is not a pretty sight!  The chaos and aftermath of this destruction can impact our very ability to function in everyday life.  Destabilization is a radical form of transformation that cuts at the very thinking and feeling nature of our psyche.  It forces unconscious psycho/emotional residue of the past to surface in the present; not with any particular agenda, but as natural response to the capacity of awareness to simply allow things to be.  In the quiet, still space of awareness, everything is possible.

Destabilization demands cognitive congruence; the very thoughts and beliefs that form your most endearing perceptions, beliefs and philosophies; the ways of being; the very meaning and purpose you have given to your life must be tendered for re-evaluation and validity; in some cases they must fall away. 

Call it what you want: existential crises, dark night of the Soul, depression, or mid life crisis.  Labeling it does nothing to facilitate the experience of destabilization; wrapping it in some model of understanding will only temporarily provide relief and certainly won’t necessarily reveal any validity or affirmation to your process.   Allowing, noticing, resting in awareness of the process is your greatest ally; forget the mind and its need to understand; it’s an inherent part of the process, and as such, is part of the deconstruction.

Stabilization is the natural impulse of this “movement” of consciousness, realization of our inherent unity, a potential outcome.  If “you” go with the flow; if “you” allow the process to unfold, “you” might soften the blow of the blade, as it chops at “your” personal addictions and fixations; as “your” sacred cows line up, one by one, to become sacrificial offerings…

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